Let’s get this out of the way, first:

Newness is awkward.

You could be the most socially social person on the planet… but what’s the chance that everyone else around you in that new situation will be that way, too? Not zero, but basically zero. 

It’s awkward.

Anyway,  let’s further consider that situation of newness. The people who interviewed you, they know a bit about you… and they liked what they learned! But depending on your new company’s interview process, that is not likely to be a ton of knowledge about you as a person. 

Rather, it’s your professional background, your accomplishments, maybe how you think about certain problems or would behave in certain situations. The you that is you, whose authentic self they will be seeing very soon, how do you start to let that shine through?

Whether physically or virtually, you’re going to be with these people for many, if not most, of your waking hours. Don’t try to be someone else. It’s exhausting to keep it up, and trust-based relationships demand more... this is where you lay that foundation.

It starts with one. One-on-one, really, which in the modern workplace is often thought of as the “Meet and Greet” for new team members. 

You know the drill: get a name from your manager or someone else you already know, find time on their calendar, spend 30-45 minutes chatting, rinse and repeat for all relevant folks and maybe then some.

No pressure, but this is, by and large, your clean slate moment. Your interview self you got you this role - now, line it up with your full self.

The basics are important, of course: names, what you go by, your new acquaintance’s role and how long they’ve been with the company, and maybe a bit of how their journey and experience have been with the organization.

But, unless specifically directed, try not to go too much deeper on the nitty-gritty work stuff. That will, quite inevitably, come over the next few weeks or months. And you’ll be spending a long time with this person over that period, most likely.

No, this is your time to connect. Even those introverts out there, anyone who says they can’t stand small talk – too bad. This isn’t a cocktail party, and it won’t be over at the end of the evening.

So who is this person, really? They will want to know the same of you. And while you can only really scratch the surface of that question in half an hour, you can lay some important groundwork. Find points of commonality. Be an open book, as much so as you’re comfortable being. Sometimes it’s as simple as “we both have kids” or “we both like football.” Sometimes you were born on the same day in the same hospital, delivered by the same doctor. 

Usually, it’s somewhere in between.

What matters above all is this: remember and be remembered. You don’t need to dazzle, and you don’t need to memorize the same polished script about yourself. Different people latch on to different attributes about someone, and that’s why it’s worth treating each Meet and Greet conversation as an opportunity to share broadly as if you’re hoping to make a new friend, not just make your qualifications known. 

And do keep in mind that this goes both ways. It’s a good feeling to be remembered by, even if it’s for just one random fact you retained about them. It lays the groundwork for trust, for help when you need it, for allies when things get tough, and so much more.

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